One year ago today I walked into Alderson Womens Prison Camp. I remember it like it was yesterday. I also remember being numb. I could not wrap my head around the fact that I would be spending the next year away from my family in a prison with 1100 other women.
My life was very full when the FBI raided my home AND my facility on October 8,2015. I was in shock and I stayed in shock throughout the entire series of events that took place over the next almost 3 years. I was indicted in January 2016. ASI/MES shut down on April 30, 2016 after 20 years in operation and I was sentenced to prison in July 2017. I left for Prison on Sept 7, 2017 and arrived back home on June 19, 2018.
Here I sit, one year later trying to put together the pieces of a herendous jigsaw puzzle of MY LIFE. Things remain in shambles however I have been surviving and operating on shear faith. When my faith wavers, I function on fear.
Mac Miller overdosed today. Hearing this tragedy gave me chills. All I could think was “THERE, BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, GO I”.
How many addicts are dying every day of the insidious disease of addiction? Do you have a loved one who is struggling with getting clean? Do you have any idea how it feels to not be able to stop using even when you WANT TO? So much for “WILLPOWER”. Dr. Abe Twerski said “Willpower does not work for diarrhea so it certainly does not work for addiction”!!! I would get high to celebrate and then I would get high if I was depressed. I would get high if it snowed and I will get high if the sun was out. I will get high if I got promoted at my job and I will get high if I got fired. You get the jist right? I tried many times to quit on my own. I never could stop. The obsession to use was the most powerful feeling EVER. I remember being in rehab which was the first time I was clean in 15 years. My obsession to use a drug literally drove me mentally crazy. To think that was 35 years ago and now, 35 years later this opiate epidemic is totally out of control.
So I spent the last 35 years working with addicts and their families. And now where does God want me to go? What does He want me to do ???
So far, 83 ASI patients have overdosed and died since we closed the facility. My heart and my passion is to help EVERYONE; both addicts and their friends and families understand this disease. It’s so very frustrating to read the comments about Mac Miller’s death on Facebook. The reality is that those comments show how ignorant people are about addiction. You would think that this would be true of only the older generation however that’s not the case. All ages of people lack an
understanding of addiction being
a threefold (mental, physical, and spiritual) illness. And the “PROFESSIONALS”, I.e. Physicians, Dentists, CEOs, Attorneys, the FBI, the Prison Guards, Teachers, Judges, Insurance Companies, Professors, Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins , Neighbors, Truck Drivers, Religious Leaders, ANYONE AND EVERYONE including DRUG ADDICTS AND DRUG DEALERS THEMSELVES DO NOT BELIEVE IN THEIR HEART OF HEARTS THAT ADDICTION IS AN ILLNESS…….. because if they did addicts would not be dropping dead like flies or sentenced to years and years in prison for something that they are POWERLESS OVER; something that they TRY OVER AND OVER AND OVER TO STOP DOING. And also, If people understood and were educated facilities like ASI and MES would not be shut down and 83 drug addicts would NOT be dead and Mac Miller would NOT have overdosed senselessly…………And Roz Sugarmann would NOT have gone to prison for putting too many addicts in GROUP THERAPY……….And parents would not be buying alcohol for their kids and having their kids “drink safely “at home or taking their car keys so they can’t drive……..or smoking a joint with their kid because “Marijuana might be legal one day”………….It is NOT an OPIATE EPIDEMIC it is an ADDICTION EPIDEMIC and it’s been progressing to this point for many, many , many YEARS!!!!! Damn I couldn’t even come up for air between sentences!!!!!
It is INSANELY FRUSTRATING and I hope and pray something happens and GOD intervenes ……….
My name is ROZ SUGARMANN and I’m a grateful recovering addict since Dec. 13,1983.
I hope that you ALL MAKE IT TO THE ASI REUNION/PICNIC SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 16 @ Dunlap Park @ noon !!!!!! Help make it a great day and show your face!!!!! Show your support …..We care about you and your family !!!!!
A Heroine Story 