Why Doesn’t Matter

And my dear 82 year old brother responded to me…..”That’s what they do sister; they kick you when you are down.”
Why though?!!!! Why is that necessary ? How does a place stay open for TWENTY YEARS and pass EVERY INSPECTION they have and then suddenly get called on the carpet for things that have already been reviewed?
I woke up to a HERENDOUS article in the Herald Standard about how the DEA is filing a CIVIL SUIT against ASI and the Sugarmann’s for “bad record keeping” over a two year period. They are stating that 8000 methadone tablets are unaccounted for back in 2013 & 2014. NOT A SURPRISE !!
We discussed this with the DEA BACK THEN !!!! This was a result of our bad batch of NURSES at the time!!!!! And the Power of Attorney issue was resolved as well !!!!! If any of you read that article the first ? you should have is WHY is this a CIVIL SUIT? If I am being accused of taking that methadone then shouldn’t I be arrested for a drug charge and not a CIVIL law suit ? I’m so hurt by all of this…….working & living the 12 Steps has been one of Gods many gifts in my recovery. The 10th step is one step that I am extremely grateful for as it provides much relief in many areas for me. When I am wrong, I promptly admit it. It has been such a huge relief knowing that i can be humble without being humiliated. It has been so valuable to me to learn that there is power in admitting that I am wrong. I think that this is what saddens me the most…….. I have made many mistakes in my life. I have hung my hat on being ethical, being honest and doing the ‘right’ thing. As ASI grew, the more difficult it became to stay in control of things. This is when I needed help and needed to count on others to step up to the plate. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen like that. I am in no way blaming anyone else. I’m taking full responsibility for not separating the men from the boys and for not knowing that I truly needed others to be able to put their foot down. Im open minded and teachable. Two of the many gifts of recovery !!!!!

Today was good. The I to We Houses are going to grow. We will be having 4 new 3/4 houses in the very near future. Plus 2 more houses in Uniontown.   God is working in our lives. He has put a “person” in our lives whose family member was taken by this disease and he is motivated to help other addicts. God put him in our path. Guardian Angel?  Maybe. Hmmm…. 

For the first time in a long time I felt a tiny bit of relief.  I do not have to understand God it is only important that I believe. I have seen too many miracles to have any doubt at all.  32 years ago I felt that I would never come out of that dark hole that I was living in. Because of my family who prayed for me, I not only came out of that hole but my life and my spirit were a huge miracle.  Here I am again in that same “dark hole” only this time I know that God has a reason for me to be here.  The reason has not yet been revealed to me so I guess this is when I learn to thank God for my pain…….and Trust The Process.    

One thought on “Why Doesn’t Matter

  1. I wish you and your family only the best! Trust in God and know that he will eventually lead you to your path for the future! My family and I will pray for you and your family every night! Thank you for helping me get clean. My kids have their Mother, I am a Wife, an Aunt, a Sister and a Daughter again!! I am in college getting a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology with an Emphasis in Addictions!! I am excited to give back to addicts and help. If I can reach 1 person and save them from this disease, I will have succeeded! Thank you again and I will for sure be praying for you and your family!!

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